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Blank Holiday

Some days there's a blank feeling that’s hard to describe in its nothingness. Not the absence of what once was, more like the subtraction of what should be.

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Easier Versus Different

To suggest that it gets easier implies that grief no longer requires effort to hold; that it is somehow more comfortable. It’s not—not at all. It’s different.

Please Don’t Take Away My Memories

I realized that what I was searching for was proof. Proof that he existed, that he loved me and that he loves me still. I suppose in a way I was breaking my own heart.

Suicide Loss ~ The 12 Steps That Saved Me

Transfer of Pain

On August 13, 2016, my Pops died by suicide. He sent a text saying goodbye and died. He died alone at a nature preserve in southern California.
I hate the three sentences above. I miss him every day.

loss

Following Pops’ death, I did a lot of reading and spent countless hours researching suicide. The statistics are staggering. Those of us left behind have a long journey to get close to something that looks like healing. The truth is, I’m not sure a complete healing can ever happen. What I do know is after losing a loved one to suicide some grief paths can lead to extremely dark destinations.

I’ve been thinking about what I would write at the one-year mark. Over the past few days I created an outline for this blog post; each point I wanted to make listed on a tear stained legal pad. Sharing details about the painful…

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